Day 9

St. Jude, I need faith and energy. I don't want this hope I have that creeps up, giving me glimpses of C and I reconciling. Please help heal my heart (today!) and get rid of that hope! It doesn't serve me. I need to get through the next month and I'd like to do it feeling good, not like a shell just drifting through the day. I'm sorry I am weak and my faith is weak. I pray to you and God to help me. Why is the fact I want deep, authentic love and a family been so hard to attain?

Novena

Most Holy Apostle St. Jude, faithful servant and friend of Jesus. The Church honors and invokes you universally as the patron of difficult cases of things almost despaired of. Pray for me, I am so helpless and alone. Intercede with God for me that He bring visible and speedy help where help is almost despaired of. Come tomy assistance in this great need that I may receive the consolation and help of heaven in all my necessities, tribulations and sufferings, particularly...

please take all feelings for C out of my heart, mind, soul, thoughs...eliminate all hope of reconcilation, of thoughts of him, memories...I want to feel nothing for him...I want to forget everything about this relationship, like it never happened...I don't want triggers or reminders...no more saddness or suffering day in and day out...please end it and maybe give me some happiness and joy again...

and that I may praise God with you and all the saints forever. I promise you O Blessed St. Jude, to be ever mindful of this great favor granted me by God and to always honor you as my special and powerful patron and to gratefully encourage devotion to you. Amen.

May the most Sacred Heart of Jesus be adored and loved in all the tabernacles until the end of time. Amen.
May the most Sacred Heart of Jesus be praised and glorified now and forever. Amen.
St. Jude pray for us and hear our prayers. Amen.
Blessed be the Sacred Heart of Jesus
Blessed be the Immaculate Heart of Mary
Blessed be St. Jude Thaddeus in all the world and for all eternity

Thank you St. Jude and I'm sorry I seem ungrateful Forgive me

Day 8

St. Jude, I am weak and worn out. Not only am I dealing with the loss of C, but the depression that accompanies it. Please have mercy. My faith is weak, I know. But, I am still here, praying for help, for forgiveness. I am so overwhelmed with all I have to do in the next month, and all I want to do is stay in bed with my dog and book. Please, help me. I feel I need a miracle. I miss C and what we had, but I'm trying so hard to forget. I need energy to get through my days and finish the school year, and my son's graduation, then I can deal with the rest. Please, give me some sign everything will turn out wonderful and my hopes were not in vain.

Most Holy Apostle St. Jude, faithful servant and friend of Jesus. The Church honors and invokes you universally as the patron of difficult cases, of things almost despaired of. Pray for me, I am so helpless and alone. Intercede with God for me that He bring visible and speedy help where help is almost despaired of. Come to my assistance in this great need that I may receive the consolation and help of heaven in all my necessities, tribulations and sufferings, particularly...

please take all feelings for C out of my heart, soul, and mind...eliminate all thoughts of him...I want to forget everything about him and this relationship, like it never happened...I don't want triggers or reminders...no more sadness or suffering over it's end...and maybe, I will feel happiness and joy again, and it will last...

and that I may praise God with you and all the saints forever. I promise you, O Blessed St. Jude to be ever mindful of this great favor granted me by God and to always honor you as my special and powerful patron and to gratefully encourage devotion to you. Amen.

May the most Sacred Heart of Jesus be adored and loved in all the tabernacles until the end of time. Amen.
May the most Sacred Heart of Jesus be praised and glorified now and forever. Amen.
St. Jude pray for us and hear our prayers. Amen.
Blessed be the Sacred Heart of Jesus.
Blessed be the Immaculate Heart of Mary
Blessed be St. Jude Thaddeus in all the world and for all eternity.

Day 7

I'm so tired, St. Jude. What a sad, pitiful day I had...I spent all day in bed and only recently forced myself out to go to a bookstore and get some food. How depressing...and lonely. I just want to go to sleep and not wake up. At least I don't have to go to work tomorrow. I hope I can motivate to go to yoga, at least. But, I just don't care...about anything, really. I'm planning a date, and most likely several. That's what men do...they immediately date women after a break up. Maybe that will help...an ego boost at least. All the men interested in me are in their late 50's...I guess I'm a young chick to them...they are closer in age to my parents than me...but, beggars can't be choosers. Hopefully, all of this pain, apathy, cynicism and general unhappiness will pass. I really thought my life was heading down such a different path. Please, please help and guide me. I am so weak.

Most Holy Apostle St. Jude, faithful servant and friend of Jesus. The Church honors and invokes you universally as the patron of difficult cases, of things almost despaired of. Pray for me, I am so helpless and alone. Intercede with God for me that He bring visible and speedy help where help is almost despaired of. Come to my assistance in this great need that I may receive the consolation and help of heaven in all my necessities, tribulations and sufferings, particularly...

please take all feelings for C out of my heart, soul, and mind...eliminate all thoughts of him...I want to forget everything about him and this relationship, like it never happened...I don't want triggers or reminders...no more sadness or suffering over it's end...and maybe, I will feel happiness and joy again, and it will last...

and that I may praise God with you and all the saints forever. I promise you, O Blessed St. Jude to be ever mindful of this great favor granted me by God and to always honor you as my special and powerful patron and to gratefully encourage devotion to you. Amen.

May the most Sacred Heart of Jesus be adored and loved in all the tabernacles until the end of time. Amen.
May the most Sacred Heart of Jesus be praised and glorified now and forever. Amen.
St. Jude pray for us and hear our prayers. Amen.
Blessed be the Sacred Heart of Jesus.
Blessed be the Immaculate Heart of Mary
Blessed be St. Jude Thaddeus in all the world and for all eternity.

Day 6

Wow, I can't believe I almost missed a day...technically, I guess I did but I hope this still counts even though it's after midnight. I'm feeling so blah, apathetic and unmotivated...emotionally numb...I know a big part of that is the medication...sucks that I have to be on it again but if it speeds things up and takes away the pain, so be it. I told a friend tonight how I wanted to erase all memories of C and she said, "Is that possible?" I don't know...I don't think about the others and I was so upset at their endings...I guess I want to just fast forward through this, not waste time 'healing' and 'processing'...God, I've done this too many times! I'm tired! And, crazy me, in the back of my mind, the hope of my heart, is that he will call me in a month to tell me how wrong he was, etc. I'm pathetic. I'm even going to go on a date soon, or dates, whatever...that is what men do, right? It seems to work for them. Anyway, I'm sort of a mess, but sorta not...I just ask for help out of this in 9 days, I guess. Thank you.

Most Holy Apostle St. Jude, faithful servant and friend of Jesus. The Church honors and invokes you universally as the patron of difficult cases, of things almost despaired of. Pray for me, I am so helpless and alone. Intercede with God for me that He bring visible and speedy help where help is almost despaired of. Come to my assistance in this great need that I may receive the consolation and help of heaven in all my necessities, tribulations and sufferings, particularly...

please take all feelings for C out of my heart, soul, and mind...eliminate all thoughts of him...I want to forget everything about him and this relationship, like it never happened...I don't want triggers or reminders...no more sadness or suffering over it's end...and maybe, I will feel happiness and joy again, and it will last...

and that I may praise God with you and all the saints forever. I promise you, O Blessed St. Jude to be ever mindful of this great favor granted me by God and to always honor you as my special and powerful patron and to gratefully encourage devotion to you. Amen.

May the most Sacred Heart of Jesus be adored and loved in all the tabernacles until the end of time. Amen.
May the most Sacred Heart of Jesus be praised and glorified now and forever. Amen.
St. Jude pray for us and hear our prayers. Amen.
Blessed be the Sacred Heart of Jesus.
Blessed be the Immaculate Heart of Mary
Blessed be St. Jude Thaddeus in all the world and for all eternity.

Day 5

it's still hard waking up, knowing he is no longer in my life, no longer loves me...and then to just face the day...well, at leasat it is friday. All I think about is getting through the day so I can come home and crawl into bed. If I can sleep, I can escape. How pitiful. St. Jude, I'm putting what little faith I have left in you to help me out of this misery. I feel so let down. I really thought this relationship was good, healthy and had a future :( Please remove all memories of it from my mind and heart.

Thank you.

Most Holy Apostle St. Jude, faithful servant and friend of Jesus. The Church honors and invokes you universally as the patron of difficult cases, of things almost despaired of. Pray for me, I am so helpless and alone. Intercede with God for me that He bring visible and speedy help where help is almost despaired of. Come to my assistance in this great need that I may receive the consolation and help of heaven in all my necessities, tribulations and sufferings, particularly...

please take all feelings for C out of my heart, soul, and mind...eliminate all thoughts of him...I want to forget everything about him and this relationship, like it never happened...I don't want triggers or reminders...no more sadness or suffering over it's end...and maybe, I will feel happiness and joy again, and it will last...

and that I may praise God with you and all the saints forever. I promise you, O Blessed St. Jude to be ever mindful of this great favor granted me by God and to always honor you as my special and powerful patron and to gratefully encourage devotion to you. Amen.

May the most Sacred Heart of Jesus be adored and loved in all the tabernacles until the end of time. Amen.
May the most Sacred Heart of Jesus be praised and glorified now and forever. Amen.
St. Jude pray for us and hear our prayers. Amen.
Blessed be the Sacred Heart of Jesus.
Blessed be the Immaculate Heart of Mary
Blessed be St. Jude Thaddeus in all the world and for all eternity.

I'm sorry I seem so ungrateful St. Jude. I want to be thankful for my life...but to deal with this loss, on top of the other losses, is too much to bear. I hate that I had to go back on medications to barely get through the day. Maybe things will become clearer but right now, I feel despondent and apathetic. I'm sorry

Day 4

Slogging through...feel like a shell...don't want to be here...no hope, no faith...how did I end up here again? Please help me St. Jude.

Most Holy Apostle St. Jude, faithful servant and friend of Jesus. The Church honors and invokes you universally as the patron of difficult cases, of things almost despaired of. Pray for me, I am so helpless and alone. Intercede with God for me that He bring visible and speedy help where help is almost despaired of. Come to my assistance in this great need that I may receive the consolation and help of heaven in all my necessities, tribulations and sufferings, particularly...

please take all feelings for C out of my heart, soul, and mind...eliminate all thoughts of him...I want to forget everything about him and this relationship, like it never happened...I don't want triggers or reminders...no more sadness or suffering over it's end...and maybe, I will feel happiness and joy again, and it will last...

and that I may praise God with you and all the saints forever. I promise you, O Blessed St. Jude to be ever mindful of this great favor granted me by God and to always honor you as my special and powerful patron and to gratefully encourage devotion to you. Amen.

May the most Sacred Heart of Jesus be adored and loved in all the tabernacles until the end of time. Amen.
May the most Sacred Heart of Jesus be praised and glorified now and forever. Amen.
St. Jude pray for us and hear our prayers. Amen.
Blessed be the Sacred Heart of Jesus.
Blessed be the Immaculate Heart of Mary
Blessed be St. Jude Thaddeus in all the world and for all eternity.

I'm sorry I seem so ungrateful St. Jude. I want to be thankful for my life...but to deal with this loss, on top of the other losses, is too much to bear. I hate that I had to go back on medications to barely get through the day. Maybe things will become clearer but right now, I feel despondent and apathetic. I'm sorry.

Day 3

Had to take a day off of work. I am just not there and simply exhausted, body and mind. Spent the day in bed. Hopefully, this won't become habit and my body was able to rejuvinate. But I'm definitely depressed. How did I end up here again? I really thought I was on my way to such a different place, with a man who wanted to be with me and create a future. It's too much to think about anymore. I just want to stop.

Most Holy Apostle St. Jude, faithful servant and friend of Jesus. The Church honors and invokes you universally as the patron of difficullt cases of things almost despaired of. Pray for me, I am so helpless and alone. Intercede with God for me that He bring visible and speedy help where help is almost despaired of. Come to my assistance in this great need that I may receive the consolation and help of heaven in all my necessities, tribulations and sufferings, particularly...

please take all feelings for C out of my heart, soul and mind...eliminate all thoughts of him...I want to forget everything about this relationship, like it never happened...I don't want triggers or reminders...no more sadness or suffering over it's end...and maybe, I will feel happiness and joy again...

and that I may praise God with you and all the saints forever. I promise you, O Blessed St. Jude, to be ever mindful of this great favor granted me by God and to always honor you as my special and powerful patron and to gratefully encourage devotion to you. Amen.

May the most Sacred Heart of Jesus be adored and loved in all the tabernacles until the end of time. Amen

May the most Sacred Heart of Jesus be praised and glorified now and forever. Amen.

St. Jude pray for us and hear our prayers. Amen.

Blessed be the Sacred Heart of Jesus

Blessed be the Immaculate Heart of Mary

Blessed be St. Jude Thaddeus in all the world and for all eternity

Thank you St. Jude and I'm sorry I seem ungrateful. Forgive me.