Day 6

Wow, I can't believe I almost missed a day...technically, I guess I did but I hope this still counts even though it's after midnight. I'm feeling so blah, apathetic and unmotivated...emotionally numb...I know a big part of that is the medication...sucks that I have to be on it again but if it speeds things up and takes away the pain, so be it. I told a friend tonight how I wanted to erase all memories of C and she said, "Is that possible?" I don't know...I don't think about the others and I was so upset at their endings...I guess I want to just fast forward through this, not waste time 'healing' and 'processing'...God, I've done this too many times! I'm tired! And, crazy me, in the back of my mind, the hope of my heart, is that he will call me in a month to tell me how wrong he was, etc. I'm pathetic. I'm even going to go on a date soon, or dates, whatever...that is what men do, right? It seems to work for them. Anyway, I'm sort of a mess, but sorta not...I just ask for help out of this in 9 days, I guess. Thank you.

Most Holy Apostle St. Jude, faithful servant and friend of Jesus. The Church honors and invokes you universally as the patron of difficult cases, of things almost despaired of. Pray for me, I am so helpless and alone. Intercede with God for me that He bring visible and speedy help where help is almost despaired of. Come to my assistance in this great need that I may receive the consolation and help of heaven in all my necessities, tribulations and sufferings, particularly...

please take all feelings for C out of my heart, soul, and mind...eliminate all thoughts of him...I want to forget everything about him and this relationship, like it never happened...I don't want triggers or reminders...no more sadness or suffering over it's end...and maybe, I will feel happiness and joy again, and it will last...

and that I may praise God with you and all the saints forever. I promise you, O Blessed St. Jude to be ever mindful of this great favor granted me by God and to always honor you as my special and powerful patron and to gratefully encourage devotion to you. Amen.

May the most Sacred Heart of Jesus be adored and loved in all the tabernacles until the end of time. Amen.
May the most Sacred Heart of Jesus be praised and glorified now and forever. Amen.
St. Jude pray for us and hear our prayers. Amen.
Blessed be the Sacred Heart of Jesus.
Blessed be the Immaculate Heart of Mary
Blessed be St. Jude Thaddeus in all the world and for all eternity.